The Closet Sweater

      Closets .... we all have them; but that's not news and I'm not writing a dissertation on them per se. We all have our closet things; things that invariably end up taking residency there. I have a sweater there, not that that's remarkable in and of itself, except that it has taken up residency in every bedroom closet of mine for the last fifty-five years. I don't wear it or ever intend to. I didn't get it new. It's just a plain faded blue, worn weary, v-neck. So why would I keep it? It was probably new in 64' or 65' and no celebrity ever owned or wore it. I can guarantee it's totally worthless to anyone else but me, and if you're thinking it has to be for a sentimental reason, you hit the nail on the head.  My big brother gave it to me. His options weren't other than to throw it away or see if someone else might use it. I did try it on. I didn't dazzle anyone or myself with it, I just kept it because my big brother gave it to me and it will reside in my closet til I die or decompose, which is common for musicians.

     Why keep it? It's a link to another time and place I suppose, where it's value laid simply in a boys mind that this was, what it was, because it tied me somehow to this iconic personality that I could call my brother. That's my brother! Bruce, my other brother and I, in truth, were real pains in the rear for the most part, especially at bed time when he was trying to read. We were rotten to the core, not uncommon for younger brothers. Still, the sweater remains, not so much as a tribute, but a tie to a time and place when we were family and that was good enough.

     "Family," It seems so fractured or disarrayed in so many ways now. It's not that I thought it didn't always have it's challenges in times past, and here comes the "but," but I believe the glue that kept them intact has been systematically altered in a way to defeat the cohesiveness we knew just fifty years ago. In fact, defining family, or the attempt to define it you may find yourself wanting. Loosely defined, it may be found to mean any group of people relationally bound together for a wide array of reasons. I'm talking here of the Ma and Pa, brother, sister, and well, .... the dog or cat extension. We may be unwise to exclude the "Fluffy factor" if we truly want to be true to a tee! Family, definitively defined is not bound by cookie cutter attributes. One would be hard pressed to find any cohesiveness by personality, looks, likes, dislikes, aptitudes, attitudes, and beautifier attributes from my "fam". We are the beautiful people in a twisted, tangled, and undefinable way; and I believe that to be true in most families. In a roundabout way that brings me back to the sweater in the closet and my brother.      

     Today, we aren't on the same page on a lot of things, but that doesn't change the fact that he's my big brother. It doesn't remotely affect my concern for his well being; I pray for him often. Family is always family and always will be. We are the good, the bad, and the ugly.  My sweater, in a way, will always connect me to the time when all that mattered was he was my very own brother and nothing will ever change that.  Life alters a lot of things ...... but not that! If you don't have a sweater in your closet, I guess that's okay, but my sweater serves me well and is here to stay.

"Job Training"

 This is from Oswald Chambers "The Case For Refuge", a study on Job. "When a man gets convicted of sin [which is the most direct way of knowing there is a problem at the basis of life], he knows that he cannot carry the burden of it; he also knows that God dare not forgive him; if He did, it would mean that man's sense of justice is bigger than God's. If I am forgiven without being altered, forgiveness is not only damaging to me, but a sign of unmitigated weakness  to establish an order of holiness and rectitude, forgiveness is a mean [ordinary, common, low or ignoble] and abominable thing."

This shatters many a creed held nowadays in our entitlement minded society; If I do this, God will do this. Theology and creed are essential to develop, but secondary to a relationship with God. Job clings to God because he knows God is honorable and just despite his circumstances and his creed, and he knows God's purpose, even if it's in the hereafter, will be realized. It is in the place of sorrow and total exhaustion, when there seems to be no way out, that we turn to God for our refuge. This is when the whole point of redemption comes to life. Forgiveness as a bartering chip is destroyed when we abandon ourselves and fling our trust solely on God. This is truly, when God is praised and lifted up in our lives. This is when the reality of life births the relationship we need and God desires. 

 Just one of my many thought's on "Job Training." 

Childhood Perpetuity

 

     Raising a child is a daunting task and always has been. Still, there should be a graduation process ..... shouldn't there? My own dear mother has gone to be with the Lord and I'm sure she has had her inquiries with Him concerning this very subject. When does it end? That's not a question that she's alone in asking. I believe with all my heart my wife is asking the same question and to be openly transparent we're not talking about our kids. It's probably become apparent to many of our friends, that this is the inheritance of sorts, my mom passed on to my beloved. I really try, kinda, to be a good boy! In truth, some of the blame for this state of perpetual childishness rests with my brothers [Myron and Bruce] while at the same time served as a conditioning environment for my sister [Sandy] in her preparation for motherhood. Still, I wonder if my wife's propensity for the raising and care of animals might also play into this. 

     I once told my mother that I wanted to be a musician when I grew up. Her reply was that I couldn't have it both ways. This I thought could be a definitive explanation as to why I may be caught in this state of perpetual childhood. After all, when have you ever seen a grown-up musician? Still, here I reside in this state of flux, wrestling with this quagmire of relentless query. Perhaps, I shall make of this a supposition that my dear wife needs me to be this way to fend off any underlying feelings of motherly deprivations. 

     Yes, this must be the answer. I'm the true hero of my own making. I'm fulfilling my lovely wife's underlying and consuming need to relevancy and purpose.  I, or we should pay homage to this never- ending sacrifice of motherhood, and maybe even set aside a day for celebration. Yes, my wife portrays the elaborate picture of motherhood and I will ever play my role in this quest of perpetual childhood for her sake. 

     As always, your everlasting source of childishness, and your ever- sacrificing husband.    Love Gordon 

       

 

Too Have Been or Not to Have Been

     For the most part, at my age, a person most often finds themselves looking back. Conversations with friends also, oftentimes, revolve around the "good old days." The future seems to be relegated to day by day drudging duty. The well seems to have gotten deeper and the rope to the bucket is frayed and occasioned with the knots of life's disappointments. I'm tired and sometimes the punching bag of life seems so unscathed by any blow I may throw at it that I find I'm just hanging in there waiting for the bell to ring. Then, I find myself wondering how many more rounds are left, and can or will I step into the ring one more time. How many people like myself are asking themselves the same questions? My recliner calls to me daily as if I had earned the right to claim it as my throne. Purpose taunts me daily as soon as the day breaks. The game begins. Catch me if you can! Finding the finish line is like playing hide and seek.

     Pathetic, that's pretty much what that first paragraph is descriptive of. Still, that's the trap, or the place where many of us reside. It may be easier to grab a beer or to claim our right to the aforementioned throne, live in the past clinging to the good ole days, or get up and take another shot at the punching bag. The question I have pursued, and I believed rightly so, is where to throw that punch. We should at the very least, be able to agree that the punch should be thrown. For me, I believe God created me for a purpose, so finding my definitive place in the scheme of things, here in this life, is my first objective. If you're not a Christian, my supposition here may appear baseless and somewhat meaningless. Your stance may be more subjective in nature and conclude that there is nothing more than to live through the lens of collective good or simply your own good. My faith is not subjective, so obviously our objectives will differ. My wrestling match with life will differ vastly from yours. I refer back to my God- created purpose.

     My purpose must align with God's. My life now must define my life for eternity. Yes, there are many battle lines. We can find ourselves encompassed about on many fronts. We may find our perspective being challenged daily, but this only can be conquered by a response. This may sound like a slick ploy to avoid a definitive answer to our original plight of meaningless existence. It's not! God, in His mercy, with all His power and glory and wisdom, wants a response. It, the response, greets us daily, as soon as we rise in the morning. I'm not saying He necessarily delineates a strict avenue of response, but that He gives us the armor and weapons for a response at any given moment or need. Seek and ye shall find. Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven, not yours!

     I love my old friends and look back sometimes with fondness, sometimes with bewilderment, sometimes with regret. That's life, then and now. I can only live with now, today period. I'll rise to shine or not. The life we live is freely given by God with no strings attached, but still demands a response. Right now, I'm going to get out of my recliner and find something to do and be thankful to the Lord of my life for His never ending opportunities to respond. After all, in the beginning of this journey the question was to be or not to be, at the end, to have been or not to have been. 

2nd Timothy 4:7-8  I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but to all them also that Love His appearing.

Bi-Politized Pollution

 

Polity:  The form or constitution of civil government of a nation or state; and in free states, the frame or fundamental system by which the several branches of government are established, and the powers and duties of each designated and defined.

    Teachers oftentimes instruct their students to start a composition with a captivating title for the purpose of inducing a desire for further investigation.  I'm not a teacher; I'm a maintenance man.  My priorities consist mainly of preserving a structure.  The commonality between the two are somewhat similar if the intent is not to pollute "corrupted or impaired by mixture of ill, moral, or physical," as described in my Webster's Dictionary.  My title "Bi-Politized Pollution," introduces a duality view of polity and the subsequent pollution of it.  The prefix "bi" fixes a perversion to the polity in much the same way as the words bisexual or bipolar.  There can be no understanding or defining, for instance, of bisexual without the norm of male-female sexuality.  "Polluted" is always something defiled; rendered unclean; tainted with guilt; impaired; or profaned.  

     There is the title.  Where in the world did that come from?  I finished my book of "Ben Franklin's Compleated Works" and I'm reading Lincoln's debates with Douglas.  The Judge, as Lincoln refers to him, just finishes three hours of his interpretation of all the legislation and repeal of parts concerning the legality or fundamental rights of the slave owners to bring their property into the territory of Kansas, soon to be a state.  The debate is outside.  The people have been standing and listening to the democratic position on slavery.  They break for supper and return for Lincoln's two-hour rebuttal on every point of interpretation of the law, with Lincoln consenting to another half hour rebuttal by Douglas; a slick ploy to ensure the democratic portion of the crowd will return from supper.  If you are interested in the content of the debate, I would suggest that you read it for yourself.  This would require the broadening of your understanding of the polity of our country and the fight to preserve it in its purest form.  Try conceiving two of our legislators of today in an exhaustive debate lasting six hours and the tenacity of a people willing to spend the time for a comprehensive evaluation of the platforms of each respective party.  Spending the time?  For the most part, we hardly feel obliged to taste of the propagandized snippet fed to us from our own party, whom we suspect are bought and paid for, and oftentimes resembling a blind date dancing partner more than our representative.  My first thought is usually, "I wonder who else you have been dancing with, and how you became so adept with your shuffle."  

    Before we look at the tactics between Lincoln and Douglas, understand that I have jumped ship and abandoned party affiliations.  My reasoning is simple enough.  I want to own my opinions.  I feel obliged to render my decisions to my conscience and to God.  I am not inclined to dance to the prevailing tunes being played without knowing the price of admission.  My political creed is aligned more to people, such as Washington and John Quincy Adams.  To say it another way, party-less, obliged to do what is good and right in the eyes of God for the good of the people and country, and restrained by an ethical standard.  Omission or lying for the promotion of an agenda, contrary to popular standards, is out of bounds.  

    So, where does the pollution of polity come in?  Slavery is the primary battlefield for the debate period.  Lincoln alludes to Douglas's position on the Illinois State Supreme Court as a result of what we now would refer to as "packing the court" to overturn a previous decision that the democratic party disavowed.  They added five new justices so they could overturn the previous four justices.  This decision was not related to slavery, but was used by Lincoln to cast a shadow on Douglas's integrity.  He also quotes Douglas's belief that "All State laws, whether organic or otherwise, which prohibit the citizens of one State from settling in another with their slave property, and especially declaring it forfeited, are direct violations of the original intention of the Government and Constitution of the United States and fourth, that the emancipation of the slaves of the Northern States was a gross outrage on the rights of property, in as much it was involuntarily done on the part of the owner."  Douglas asserted his position that slaves were property and celebrated the Supreme Court's Dred Scott decision that affirmed the claim that slaves were indeed property.  His assertion was based on the people's right to choose and what he saw as the State's Sovereignty or as it was deemed Popular Sovereignty; "The people's choice on whether to have slaves or not to have them."

    Lincoln presents the supposition that links President Buchanan, President Pierce, Chief Justice Taney, and the Supreme Court to a systematic strategy to make slavery legal in every state [baby stepping].  Douglas's response was to label it as a conspiracy theory.  The rebuttal was very entertaining for me.  It was laced with Lincoln's satirical style of stripping, as it were, every allegation made rendering Douglas as if he were the school boy caught with his fingers in the cookie jar.  Lincoln's view was that all people were covered under the Constitution's protection, while not admitting that it made them necessarily equal.  That may be a subject to be debated, but it served him well at the time in catering to the people's presupposition to fairness.  

    My whole point is very simplistic in itself.  The party system lends itself to a variety of problems.  By its very nature it divides.  By its very nature it can also align one's allegiance to one principal to the obverse by party designation.  The Judicial system becomes corrupt by party allegiance and becomes nothing more than a tool of manipulation.  To say that the system has been bi-politized may be somewhat of an understatement.  I'm not talking here of oppositional debate, but the deceptive manipulating strategies being the course of resolution.  The pollution is, and always has been, ethical degradation.  The solution is the ethical resolve embedded in the individual.  We talk alot about sovereignty, but refuse to acknowledge what was supreme.  My 1828 Webster's Dictionary gives an under-girding definition for retrieving the truth that we have lost as a country: 

    "Sovereignty, Supreme power; supremacy; the possession of the highest power, or of uncontrollable power.  Absolute sovereignty belongs to God only." 

       John Adams said we could only survive as a Nation if we were a moral people.  He was referencing a Biblical morality and authority, not the floating crap table morality that we see today.  I love history with all of its players.  I love the glimpses you get from people's lives, which presupposes my preference for their own writings.  I'm not saying that all politicians are totally corrupt; I am saying that the "he said-she said" nonstop bickering, is a sure sign that devolution is true.  Make your argument an honest consideration that belies an ethical portrayal of the person you really are, owning the subsequent outcome of your stance.  Align your position to God's purposes and intent, and be free from the bi-politized system that owns you now.

    "Spoiler alert"  Lincoln realized that after the Dred Scott decision, it would only take one more Supreme Court decision to uphold slavery in every state, making us a slave nation.  If slaves were merely property and not people, as was the democratic position; who could disallow them from taking their property to their next home in a free state.

Living Alive

                                        

                                               Living Alive

Giving into the morning

           Well should I rise to shine

Living life I’m living for a lifetime

            I’m catching moments   ooo  as time flies

I’m living moments, but moments die

 

I’m singing it like a song of mine

           Noting notes as they sail away

Lord keep me ….. in the Sonshine

           Lord keep me, Lord keep me I pray

Lord keep me, It’s such a beautiful day

Chorus:

And life’s just fine, I’m living it rain or shine

When rivers come flooding and deserts bleed me dry

I thirst for the Father til the rain makes me cry

I’ll thirst for the Father til the well runs dry

I’m alive and living, I’m living alive

A gift from my Father, a gift you can’t buy

I’m alive and living, I’m living alive

Where living is dying and dying makes alive

Bridge:

A day may find you wanting from a diet of endless lies

A windless sail availing to a journeys lifeless craving

A breathe of breathless sighs a dawn of consuming whys

Still the word whispers daily of a life that’s alive

Verse:

Dare I tiptoe thru this mirror

          A pass to the other side

Reflect on this reflection

          That I share to the other side

Unexpectedly, acceptable this pie in the sky

          I’m slip sliding into the Sonshine

Chorus:     

Verse: 

Eluding this deluding bliss of lies

          Unexpectedly expecting to be living alive

I’m alive and living I’m living alive

 

This is my latest song written last March. Obviously written to display an alternative approach to living from that of self-realization. Scripture teaches a dying to self and pursuing a Christ realization. We lose to gain. "Where living is dying and dying makes alive." This means taking your eyes off of your "self" and placing God's will for your life into his hands. A self absorbed personality is a poor adornment to be wearing and never seems to be endearing, especially to all of our self absorbing friends. I, and you, I'm guessing have a deep desire for peace. I've found it in Christ. I've found it in crucifying my self desires and seeking His. We love to say; no pain, no gain. It's more difficult to say; no pain, no love.  Jesus says a seed has to die to be reborn. To be a new creation you have to be born again.

      "Dare I tiptoe thru this mirror; a pass to the other side."

     "Reflect on this reflection; that I share to the other side"

There is a self to be concerned about; a self-examination.

2nd Corinthians 13:6 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?

  

INVO-DOMINICUS

I'm old enough now to see deaths' visitation increasingly invasive intrusion into my own little world.  For so long I had been isolated from this scourge of torment, of loss, of separation; no longer armed with the illusion of the invulnerable armor accompanied many times with youth. The veil-the illusion- has been stripped away, and death whispers the age old lie of victory, seizing the reins of life and hope, to drive one's own-self down the path of fear and regret. One spends more time looking back. Assessing things either not done or paths regretfully taken, hurtful wrongs that caused pain to others, or the painful assessment of just letting time slip away. Things not said,  things not done, purposeless existence now knocking incessantly at the door; and you cry what have I done? I'm here, I'm alive, but death haunts and I'm feeling more dead than alive. Death drains the life from the living, stealing from you God's most precious gift. 

It's not time [the gift] if that 's what you're thinking. Time has an ending also. Time is like a bank account and time spent decreases the accounts balance. I have come to acknowledge that. It is somewhat bothersome wondering how much time we have in that account and death would like that to be our overriding focus. Death loves to rob and steal and hastens the day of our demise. Death provides a culture of it's own. Death whispers a lie, a solution to life to some. Death whispers to some that life is bettered if life is forfeited for the good of others. Death reigns supreme on the altar of life for some. Death is demeaning and death claims time has no reason. 

Time has a reason; yes, and time has a season for each of us. I woke up with a word again; Dominicus.  I'm thinking that sounds cool. I had to remember that word before I woke up. As a musician, I'm thinking what a cool name for a song or project. Still' I'm thinking, while I'm sleeping, it needs something else. So I attach 'In' to it; Indominicus, and later Invo-Dominicus. I get up and grab my 1828 Webster's dictionary and find that dominicus means lord, and that "in" means in; giving Indominicus to mean being in the Lord. Adding Invo means to call or invoke. Invo-dominicus becomes to call and or to invoke the Lord. I love it when this happens. The Lord has an answer to death. 

Time flies, and time someday has an end. Death comes and someday death has an end; but God does not live in time and God is everlasting. God is the great I Am that I Am. God is man's greatest gift; not anything he does or can give you, but God Himself. That being said; Invo-Dominicus is to be in or invoke the God of the universe and let Him have His way and to hell with death. Death for me will still bring with it sorrow as it did for Jesus, but it doesn't rule the day. Don't side step or waste your time. Accept the Lord now and start living today!

  5.And the angel which I saw stand upon the sea and upon the earth lifted up his hand to heaven, 6. and sware by Him that liveth forever and ever, who created heaven, and the things that therein are, and the sea, and the things that therein are, that there should be time no longer.                                                                    Revelation 10:5-6