Saturday, May 26, 2012

Memory Loss

     We do not watch TV [outside programing such as cable, satellite, antenna etc.] at our house. Yes, I'm starting out with a disclaimer. We do have a TV for select movies primarily for times of relaxation and/or for sedation. Yes, It comes on at bedtime, and for ten or fifteen minutes we watch the same events unfold night after night before succumbing to sleep. We're not much for variety ... that's not the intent. Right now it's Emma, night after night, doing the same thing, making the same silly remarks, caught up in the intrigues of her plotting, entanglements galore, Frank Churchhill entering the room again and again, character flaws abounding, hidden engagements, secrets exposed, character after character impregnating their contributions into the unfolding unadulterated, story line, all under our purview. In fact, the deeds are done. It does little good to stick the DVD in again and again.  The same remarks are made, the reactions still the same, the hurts, the joys, the anger, the rebukes have all been said and done and all the viewing or re-viewing in the world will not change that and it makes me wonder about my own life.

     In my last post I marveled at the fact, in and of itself, the act of Jesus on the cross was indeed, a part of His reality in a way that is always with Him, unchanging, revealing, amazing and humbling. Now, I look at my life, at all the things I would rather forget and know that God, when He looks at my life, sees my story much the same way; well, possibly somewhat the same way I do when I'm watching Emma, only it's real and it's always now to Him. I, on the other hand, am very capable of rationalizing and making accommodations for the purpose of making these memories less egregious and defensible or at least conveniently forgettable. As I grow older, and somewhat in my eyes at least, have matured in my walk with the Lord, I can see that this won't do. There has to be a point in my own story line where the story changes. Things I did yesterday are no longer an option. When God looks at my story ... all of my story ... there has to be a turning point, change, a destination, a viable plot and an ending that pleases my Lord. There has to be a response to what Jesus did on the cross and it's not all easy. It's not a cheap entitlement. It's hard work. It's a "working out of our salvation with fear and trembling." Oh, and for everyone that's saying "oh my gosh it's another works theology," I'll add, "for it is God that does this work in you." But in saying that you'll notice that the work is still there and every day I pray for that strength to do that work. It's called relationship! The fact that we can have relationship in and of itself is amazing to me and I don't completely understand it all, or the whys and the ifs of it. As for my story, God has seen it all, He created time. I'm the one stuck in it. Tomorrow for me though, is a blank page yet to be written and a chance to hold my Fathers hand, to follow and to endeavor unto obedience. I do know I lay completely and utterly exposed to a God that through His mercy and forgiveness through the sacrifice of His own Son has promised, at the end of my story, a self imposed memory loss of His own regarding the sins I've laid before Him.

     It's not to be confused with a sequel for all has been made new and now we can only wonder about what will be, but we know that "we shall be like Him." An end to a story, I suppose ... a new beginning, a surety. What was lost shall be found, newness of life, real living and unashamed relationship restored ... and as for sin ... powerless ... removed ... a memory lost.

For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward them that fear Him.
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.
                                                                                                                      Psalm 103:11-12