Love Interest

     Books on love seem to dominate the writers market which is most likely the least debatable point about this topic. It has to be close to the most marketable topic out there. It's also, I would presume, one of the most easily misunderstood. Surely, we are so often told to be patient because God has that special person just waiting for you to discover ..... at the right time and at the right place? Is it reduced to just chance, again the right place at the right time? I'm not a gambler per se, but factoring in the odds based on coincidence, one might just as well scan the clouds for a suitable lightning bolt to split a tree in two.This could lead one to think of God as a magician waiting to pull our perfect mate out of His magical hat securing for us this promised hope of happiness; and surely, love and happiness, at the very least are holding hands to the extent that having one presupposes the other. Still, one would have to concede that happiness in this world is elusive at best leaving me with something I would consider of more value. If you're attached to anyone relationally, and most importantly to our Father, you will have to come face to face with the reality of blessed assurance. Hope envisions this reality and while we can't fully have this realization this side of heaven; God still fills our needs at any given moment as he purposes and sees fit. God doesn't do anything except the things that can align us with His purpose. Good, bad, indifferent, or inconceivable through our eyes, we should submit, contemplate, and examine His word and not just the ingratiating sections, but the somewhat repugnant parts that war against our judgement. You may come to discover, as the song goes, we were looking for love in all the wrong places. 

     My wife and I were statistically bankrupt at the beginning of our relationship. That translates to a hopelessness in the eyes of everyone with the exception of God. At that point in my life I knew that the understanding of relationship was on a path I had never traversed before, and like a good Father,  He laid out the plan for relationship through His Son Jesus. Jesus was the epitome, or rather the picture perfect truth of relationship. Yes, the bible lays out the attributes of a woman that showcases the ideals a man should seek out in this amazingly complex and perplexingly body of of emotion. Be mindful of this. This is essential to the mystery of oneness and the hope of it's acquisition and the desire to at last becoming complete. 

     There was this one attribute that sealed or rather confirmed my decision to pursue this hope of completion.  She had thrown herself completely into the hands of a loving God with a willingness to lay  bare a broken soul of hopelessness before the author of hope. She had still the broken little girl of her childhood alive in the depths of her soul, and she came to know the only Father she would ever need. The awareness of a broken world is never so tragically revealed as through the life and eyes of a battered child. I could never fix this. God is the only author of real life and redemption. This is why I could and did pursue this amazing embodiment of strength, love and resolve, made possible only through the relationship of a Father with His child, to soulfully pursue this quest of a faithfully true union of souls. And the two became one. You'll never comprehend it if you can't see truth of God's being thru the Word that reveals His plan for us. For too long, as the song goes once again, I was looking for love in all the wrong places, but now the shackles and blinders have fallen to the ground. I see. It's an amazing place to be. 

     Now, oftentimes I find myself laying in bed just staring at the silhouette of this woman and see the wounded child inside and I embrace them both and just hold them in my arms, because that's what my Father does. I can love her because my Father loves her. I have landed at the feet of compassion beside my Father. I can understand loss at this point in my life more than at any other time. To feel another's loss is to feel what God feels. The truth that we have to embrace that comes from the Father, and this is a truth once realized through a relationship with the everlasting, love is sustained by commitment, courage, patience, endurance and total reliance on our Father in heaven. This is where I am and desire to reside. The coolest part of all of this is that because we have chosen this path and we truly are one; she's right here beside me.

     When we got married my wife described herself as a train wreck waiting to happen. I'm so indebted to a God that knows how to lay the track that  rises to the occasion, safe and securing, and leading to the only destination of life fulfilling hope. The first consideration in finding the love you desire is finding the Author of that desire. The second is like unto the first; seek the lady that shares that same path. You may not find that you were made for each other; rather that you are making yourselves for each other. Life is a journey made to be taken together. Hardship, trials and even loss are found on the way. Make it a threesome, a cord not easily broken. Discover the gems that could have gone unnoticed along the way and find the love you  always knew was real.    

      When we suffer loss in this world; and we will, I always keep this adage in my heart; we lose to gain. God is the God of restitution. When they say God is love, understand that He is the source of this eternal love. He is also in the business of restoration. 

      *Lost love is still love

            Alive in hope secure

                   Waiting for the rebirth

                           That the heart may adorn

                                   Not lost in distant sorrow

                                                But alive on distant shore

*This is a line from the movie, "Five People You Meet In Heaven," that inspired me to write the poem at the end of this article.

Judicious Attribution

     I just finished reading a book entitled "Lincoln and the Irish" The Untold Story of How The Irish Helped Abraham Lincoln Save The Union. The political navigation and the gravity of foresight needed to achieve a desired end to an insidious game of rivaling ideologies to control the destiny of our country, had my mind delving into the depths of cynicism and to the heights of anticipative hope. I must confess that my primary focus has always been on slavery as it brought the nation to it's point of dissolution. There is no dispute in my mind as to that; but I had an insufficient knowledge of the prejudicial aspects that lay outside of the slavery debacle.

     I knew of, but not of the Know-Nothings. They were a group of  nativist Americans, anti Catholic and therefore anti Irish. Because of the potato famine, immigration of the Irish to America seeking refuge and opportunity, not to mention the freedom that came with it was huge. The Know Nothings originally aligned more closely to the Whigs and then the new Republican party. They were the terrorist faction committing many atrocities. The plausibility of there thinking was skewed to say the least; anti-slavery and yet maniacally prejudiced against the Irish. The roots of this are more easily understood if we go back to the Catholic response to the reformation in Europe. The multi-faceted aspects of Europe involvement, self absorbed players, including generals, politicians, people groups, and the toll of devastating losses, along with the courting of the Irish  whom he couldn't win the war without, left me enthralled with Lincolns' judicious use of opportunity. 

     England and France were favoring the South, not because of slavery, but for the severing and stripping the country of its power. The idea of saving the union was never front and center for me. My vision was narrowed because of my focus on slavery and I started wondering how this posture kept me from seeing the other implications and consequences. I would have fought for the freedom of the slaves regardless, but I desire perspective in it's entirety. 

     This lead me in my thinking to that of judicious attribution. There has to be a time for judicious constraint, a compelling to act. Inaction, at times, will be the loss of opportunity never to be regained. This naturally implies a time for judicious restraint, a regrettable action that can't be taken back. Damage ill-retrievable, a life altering event, negating second chances is a possibility worth thinking about. The necessity of using the Irish also opened the door to judicious abuse. Alleged abuse of the Irish troops as fodder for assaults by their placement in the front lines was a prevalent concern for Lincoln. The Irish resolve in these circumstances proved them to be a fearless force to be reckoned with on both sides. It also lead me to an introspection of my own responses to conflict. Certainly, an acknowledgement to differing assessments of opinion must be judiciously discerned. Once again, considerations considered not, can lead ones response to a debilitating and embarrassing consequence leading to a stumbling block towards resolution. At the vary least, a thorough evaluation of response is prudent. 

     Sometimes though, the fight has to be fought; but judicious resolve must at times be tempered by judicious restraint balanced by judicious attribution, for the road back to unity may be a long one and the cost irretrievable.