Sheep Sheparding Sheep Shearing Sham

I struggle sometimes with opening my mouth, although probably not as much as I should. I struggle with the fact that God chose and entrusted people with the duty and obligation of spreading the Gospel. I have often thought his idea of using a talking jackass in the OT a more fitting and prudent choice than the alternative of allowing us the arduous task of transforming ourselves into the one and same. I'm not espousing evolution here ---- really! After all, we're supposed to be sheep, right. It gets confusing though, what with wolves in sheep's clothing shepherding or sheep shepherding sheep without the shepherd. Why couldn't we be cows ---- religious only when we're in the mooood accompanied with our ever so endearing bull? Actually, chickens are kinda herd-like, like sheep, and we've got the pecking down [note that I did not make a gender reference here as in hen-pecking because I'm especially sensitive in that respect]. Sometimes a good duck is preferable to a branding, although once again that's another area of expertise [I know I've branded my fair share]. I know, I just evolved into a lame duck --- I was just horsing around. Oh well, if the shoe fits and it fits too well sometimes, isn't it all tolerated here on our animal farm? Doesn't diversity suit the times and relevance of the church today, and doesn't it make you feel so good to fit in?  Well, I've uddered enough, I'm off to get my spring shearing done.

I’m afraid I have a tendency towards sarcasm, surely something I need to work on. I was relapsing when I wrote the above. I have this fear that at the end of my blogging days I'll still be referencing this quirk in my personality [quirk sounds better than fault or dysfunction]. I had an older friend say to me once, after I was carrying on about the church, "yes, one church, a lot of ideas". Since that visit I've been trying to have a gentler approach, which the word supports, with the exception of outright heresy [then I'm right back to the Elijah, and our own Lord's rather direct, dead men's bones, confrontational in your face, let's make one thing clear, you're messing with my own and destroying lives approach]. Gosh golly, I still like to picture Elijah's onslaught of ribbing while the priests of baal, hopelessly embarrassing themselves, try to "light their fire". Ooooh! And all that cutting on themselves thousands of years before band-aids were even invented. And it's just one guy pulling the rug out from under this really cool racket that took years to establish. Makes you wonder what happened to their media mud slinging team.

Sorry, I regressed a little again. Anyway, as a sheep, I'm in the market for a good shepherd. I know we live in a small town, but there are fourteen churches here, so why am I the only one who's got it right? I bet a lot of you are thinking you've all ready met me. Seriously, I like people and I don't do the church-hopping thing too well, but the church [in our country at least] is on a downhill slide. Am I wrong? Let me clarify a bit --- I require a church I can bring our son [the boy] to without exposing him to scantily clad females --- I know it's everywhere --- billboards, checkout counters, worship teams, etc. ---- but it's getting harder and harder to leave the house. [My wife and I, understandably, could go to a few of the churches] Why is the church so busy being relevant? I'm always wondering why we aren't setting the standard.  After all, we didn't have to think one up.  God did that already. If we're so worried about being a little stale, I have a suggestion---let's live up to the standards God gave us and watch what happens.  And I have another suggestion for the entire evolving theology crowd ---- think up your own name for your religion and quit sullying Christ's. Actually, I think I know the answer to that one too---it's in the Bible. The best damage is always from within.

By the way I'm a black sheep, not suitable for a good sacrifice ---- kinda blemished and whatnot so please look elsewhere, and besides my wife still loves me and would kinda miss me.